The age old question that plagues all NRIs

I'm going to blog today about something I promised myself I wouldn't again - so here's another promise broken. It's basically about the question plaguing people who move abroad from India - whether to move back home or not?

Well, it's been 2 years since we moved back "home", and guess what, "home" is an intangible thing, it's not a place. I really admire the 5-10% of the NRI crowd who's decided they're happy where they are and will just stay put, and will visit Mother India once in 3 to 5 years. For the rest of the X=X+1 crowd, life is just a series of questions without answers.

D and I were trying to put numbers to our happiness here and in the US, being the number-oriented people we are, and D's numbers were 7 and 8 (for US and India), and mine were 7 and 7 respectively. D retorted that I've never been much of a happy person so its impossible to satisfy me. I guess that's true. :)

Well the 8 in D's case is because he loves being his own boss here (and lording over his minions, I opine, strictly tongue in cheek of course). In my case, I'm as happy or unhappy as I was earlier.

I love being at home and spending time with the kids, but I still miss my old job and whatever wild shot I had at climbing some corporate ladder.

I love having a cook, maidservant and gardener, but miss the silence and privacy of being all alone in my own home (it's never silent here anyway!)

I love that my kids know Indian festivals intimately and idolize Krishna (albeit the Cartoon Network one) rather than some caped crusader, but I hate that their choice of a school where their minds are really opened (rather than their mugging capabilities and our purses!) is really limited.

I love being able to watch Indian movies when I want to, and have family close by, but miss the clean air, roads and standard of living in the US.

Can one say that aloud and not be stoned to death - "standard of living" - indeed, for anyone out there who's contemplating a move back home, let me tell you, your material standard of living will drop. It doesn't matter what your bank balance is, but the fact of the matter is, you'll be driving on s%%^&y roads, wading through filth and muck, keeping your hands off pan-stained walls in government buildings and fending off pitiful beggars at stop lights. You'll get used to the constant presence of dust in your home, and give some ground to it in the never-ending fight. You'll get used to nosy neighbours, avaricious servants and inquisitive friends. You'll get used to cops who'll palm a 100 rupees and let you off for talking on the phone while driving. You'll get used to the world and his chaprasi asking for "chai-paani" money or "dasara bhakshis". You get used to them being unhappy with whatever bhakshees you give them and then asking for some more. You'll get used to "adjusting" on filthy toilets in ramshackle airports.

You all know the pluses, folks. These are the minuses. Don't listen to anyone who airbrushes reality by painting the "happening India" and "dynamic tomorrow" over here. Our cities are a picture of urban decay, filth, corruption and greed. Unless you plan to live at some sylvan retreat near the Himalayas, or the Western Ghats, this is what your life will sink into. Yes, even if you own that 1 crore for 2500 square feet villa in the Singapore/Malayasia/America/...[insert your favorite country's name] township 25 kms away from the heart of the city.

It's a grim picture, but it's reality folks. So if it sounds terrifying, hold on to that suburban 4-bedroom in San Diego County (or in the Evergreen or...[insert the name of your favorite suburb here]). Just watch out for the wildfires, the layoffs, the rising crime rates, the job instability, the isolation of suburbia, the hankering for "home", the never-ending need to keep plugging in to the 9-to-5 to pay off the mortgage and the cars, the stress at work, the cold at wintertime, the heat at summertime....

See? I told you I wasn't that happy a person ;)