I've decided to stop reading news-bytes about Britney Spears, her kids, her ex and her career (or what's left of it). I used to like some of her songs (come on, they were addictive!), and rather liked her too. Then came all the hoopla about marriage #1, #2, the "reality" show, her bizarre life, the poor kids, the divorce, the overexposure....right now, I just feel sorry for her. And the only way I can help her is by shutting her out. One less reader for the yellow tabloids.
Watched OSO yet? I haven't, and have heard/read widely divergent reports about it. I want to watch it at least once and judge for myself. I usually enjoy SRK's movies, except for that stupid KKHH - even KHNH wasn't so bad. Let me correct myself, KANK was the worst of the lot. So OK, I like SRK if he's not in a KJ movie! :) My brother is convinced SRK and KJ are a "couple", I highly doubt it. But even if they are, who cares? I enjoy SRK the product, and that's it.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
Kiddie birthday parties and return gifts
When a kid goes to a friend's birthday party, they get a "goody bag" or a "return gift", as it's known here. This week, we have 4 birthday parties to attend. We've probably attended around 10 others so far this academic year (since June). The number is only set to increase, since the twins have started school now as well.
Due to this huge number of parties and the resultant return gifts, our house is flooded with writing boxes (what we used to call pencil boxes in the good ol' days), pencils, erasers, pouches, sharpeners, crayons, geegaws that light up when you throw them/stick them to the wall/press them, lunch bags, fake cameras, ping-pong sets, yo-yos....you get the idea - all the plastic thingies found in General Bazar for Rs 50 or below have made their way home, and we have everything times three.
As a result, my kids have absolutely no value for pencils, crayons, sketch pen sets and the like - things I used to treasure when I was a kid. They just use them for a day or two and throw them around. Every once in a while, they remember the "thing", whatever it is, and fight for it (they get 3 identical of everything, so ownership is difficult to prove).
And every kid in Ani's circle has a cupboard overflowing with jigsaw puzzles, activity books, sketch pen and paint sets, remote-controlled cars, "thinking" VCDs - i.e., learning to spell/do speed math/speak well/identify all the different dinosaurs etc. etc. So what do you gift such a child? I inevitably give them a story book, and hope they read it and don't throw it somewhere (or don't already own 3 copies of it).
God knows how many millions of houses this is being repeated across the country and the world...
Can some brave soul propose a "gift-free" birthday party and get away with it? We're far, far away from such a concept here in India, at least in Hyderabad - where people want to show their wealth/generosity/love for their kid/ability to overload party menu with 3 sweets, 3 fried savories and 2 drinks, besides the cake, candy, wafers and return gifts.
We went to a party of a little girl a few weeks ago (5th birthday) attended by over 200 people, which was completely outsourced to an event management company - food (a buffet of Italian, South Indian, North Indian and Chaat offerings), drinks, appetizers, conducting the games, return gifts - everything was taken care off. The proud mom was just wandering around here and there saying "hi" and "bye". This was the second time I'd met her, the first was when she came to school to invite everyone - the little girl comes to school with her ayah and driver everyday. They probably spent a lakh or two on that party. Each of my brood of 3 got about 4 return gifts in that party - photo albums, pencil boxes, a huge fake sunflower and the like.
The little girl came to today's party with her ayah and driver as well. Guess mom has outsourced attending parties, as well as hosting them.
Due to this huge number of parties and the resultant return gifts, our house is flooded with writing boxes (what we used to call pencil boxes in the good ol' days), pencils, erasers, pouches, sharpeners, crayons, geegaws that light up when you throw them/stick them to the wall/press them, lunch bags, fake cameras, ping-pong sets, yo-yos....you get the idea - all the plastic thingies found in General Bazar for Rs 50 or below have made their way home, and we have everything times three.
As a result, my kids have absolutely no value for pencils, crayons, sketch pen sets and the like - things I used to treasure when I was a kid. They just use them for a day or two and throw them around. Every once in a while, they remember the "thing", whatever it is, and fight for it (they get 3 identical of everything, so ownership is difficult to prove).
And every kid in Ani's circle has a cupboard overflowing with jigsaw puzzles, activity books, sketch pen and paint sets, remote-controlled cars, "thinking" VCDs - i.e., learning to spell/do speed math/speak well/identify all the different dinosaurs etc. etc. So what do you gift such a child? I inevitably give them a story book, and hope they read it and don't throw it somewhere (or don't already own 3 copies of it).
God knows how many millions of houses this is being repeated across the country and the world...
Can some brave soul propose a "gift-free" birthday party and get away with it? We're far, far away from such a concept here in India, at least in Hyderabad - where people want to show their wealth/generosity/love for their kid/ability to overload party menu with 3 sweets, 3 fried savories and 2 drinks, besides the cake, candy, wafers and return gifts.
We went to a party of a little girl a few weeks ago (5th birthday) attended by over 200 people, which was completely outsourced to an event management company - food (a buffet of Italian, South Indian, North Indian and Chaat offerings), drinks, appetizers, conducting the games, return gifts - everything was taken care off. The proud mom was just wandering around here and there saying "hi" and "bye". This was the second time I'd met her, the first was when she came to school to invite everyone - the little girl comes to school with her ayah and driver everyday. They probably spent a lakh or two on that party. Each of my brood of 3 got about 4 return gifts in that party - photo albums, pencil boxes, a huge fake sunflower and the like.
The little girl came to today's party with her ayah and driver as well. Guess mom has outsourced attending parties, as well as hosting them.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
The age old question that plagues all NRIs
I'm going to blog today about something I promised myself I wouldn't again - so here's another promise broken. It's basically about the question plaguing people who move abroad from India - whether to move back home or not?
Well, it's been 2 years since we moved back "home", and guess what, "home" is an intangible thing, it's not a place. I really admire the 5-10% of the NRI crowd who's decided they're happy where they are and will just stay put, and will visit Mother India once in 3 to 5 years. For the rest of the X=X+1 crowd, life is just a series of questions without answers.
D and I were trying to put numbers to our happiness here and in the US, being the number-oriented people we are, and D's numbers were 7 and 8 (for US and India), and mine were 7 and 7 respectively. D retorted that I've never been much of a happy person so its impossible to satisfy me. I guess that's true. :)
Well the 8 in D's case is because he loves being his own boss here (and lording over his minions, I opine, strictly tongue in cheek of course). In my case, I'm as happy or unhappy as I was earlier.
I love being at home and spending time with the kids, but I still miss my old job and whatever wild shot I had at climbing some corporate ladder.
I love having a cook, maidservant and gardener, but miss the silence and privacy of being all alone in my own home (it's never silent here anyway!)
I love that my kids know Indian festivals intimately and idolize Krishna (albeit the Cartoon Network one) rather than some caped crusader, but I hate that their choice of a school where their minds are really opened (rather than their mugging capabilities and our purses!) is really limited.
I love being able to watch Indian movies when I want to, and have family close by, but miss the clean air, roads and standard of living in the US.
Can one say that aloud and not be stoned to death - "standard of living" - indeed, for anyone out there who's contemplating a move back home, let me tell you, your material standard of living will drop. It doesn't matter what your bank balance is, but the fact of the matter is, you'll be driving on s%%^&y roads, wading through filth and muck, keeping your hands off pan-stained walls in government buildings and fending off pitiful beggars at stop lights. You'll get used to the constant presence of dust in your home, and give some ground to it in the never-ending fight. You'll get used to nosy neighbours, avaricious servants and inquisitive friends. You'll get used to cops who'll palm a 100 rupees and let you off for talking on the phone while driving. You'll get used to the world and his chaprasi asking for "chai-paani" money or "dasara bhakshis". You get used to them being unhappy with whatever bhakshees you give them and then asking for some more. You'll get used to "adjusting" on filthy toilets in ramshackle airports.
You all know the pluses, folks. These are the minuses. Don't listen to anyone who airbrushes reality by painting the "happening India" and "dynamic tomorrow" over here. Our cities are a picture of urban decay, filth, corruption and greed. Unless you plan to live at some sylvan retreat near the Himalayas, or the Western Ghats, this is what your life will sink into. Yes, even if you own that 1 crore for 2500 square feet villa in the Singapore/Malayasia/America/...[insert your favorite country's name] township 25 kms away from the heart of the city.
It's a grim picture, but it's reality folks. So if it sounds terrifying, hold on to that suburban 4-bedroom in San Diego County (or in the Evergreen or...[insert the name of your favorite suburb here]). Just watch out for the wildfires, the layoffs, the rising crime rates, the job instability, the isolation of suburbia, the hankering for "home", the never-ending need to keep plugging in to the 9-to-5 to pay off the mortgage and the cars, the stress at work, the cold at wintertime, the heat at summertime....
See? I told you I wasn't that happy a person ;)
Well, it's been 2 years since we moved back "home", and guess what, "home" is an intangible thing, it's not a place. I really admire the 5-10% of the NRI crowd who's decided they're happy where they are and will just stay put, and will visit Mother India once in 3 to 5 years. For the rest of the X=X+1 crowd, life is just a series of questions without answers.
D and I were trying to put numbers to our happiness here and in the US, being the number-oriented people we are, and D's numbers were 7 and 8 (for US and India), and mine were 7 and 7 respectively. D retorted that I've never been much of a happy person so its impossible to satisfy me. I guess that's true. :)
Well the 8 in D's case is because he loves being his own boss here (and lording over his minions, I opine, strictly tongue in cheek of course). In my case, I'm as happy or unhappy as I was earlier.
I love being at home and spending time with the kids, but I still miss my old job and whatever wild shot I had at climbing some corporate ladder.
I love having a cook, maidservant and gardener, but miss the silence and privacy of being all alone in my own home (it's never silent here anyway!)
I love that my kids know Indian festivals intimately and idolize Krishna (albeit the Cartoon Network one) rather than some caped crusader, but I hate that their choice of a school where their minds are really opened (rather than their mugging capabilities and our purses!) is really limited.
I love being able to watch Indian movies when I want to, and have family close by, but miss the clean air, roads and standard of living in the US.
Can one say that aloud and not be stoned to death - "standard of living" - indeed, for anyone out there who's contemplating a move back home, let me tell you, your material standard of living will drop. It doesn't matter what your bank balance is, but the fact of the matter is, you'll be driving on s%%^&y roads, wading through filth and muck, keeping your hands off pan-stained walls in government buildings and fending off pitiful beggars at stop lights. You'll get used to the constant presence of dust in your home, and give some ground to it in the never-ending fight. You'll get used to nosy neighbours, avaricious servants and inquisitive friends. You'll get used to cops who'll palm a 100 rupees and let you off for talking on the phone while driving. You'll get used to the world and his chaprasi asking for "chai-paani" money or "dasara bhakshis". You get used to them being unhappy with whatever bhakshees you give them and then asking for some more. You'll get used to "adjusting" on filthy toilets in ramshackle airports.
You all know the pluses, folks. These are the minuses. Don't listen to anyone who airbrushes reality by painting the "happening India" and "dynamic tomorrow" over here. Our cities are a picture of urban decay, filth, corruption and greed. Unless you plan to live at some sylvan retreat near the Himalayas, or the Western Ghats, this is what your life will sink into. Yes, even if you own that 1 crore for 2500 square feet villa in the Singapore/Malayasia/America/...[insert your favorite country's name] township 25 kms away from the heart of the city.
It's a grim picture, but it's reality folks. So if it sounds terrifying, hold on to that suburban 4-bedroom in San Diego County (or in the Evergreen or...[insert the name of your favorite suburb here]). Just watch out for the wildfires, the layoffs, the rising crime rates, the job instability, the isolation of suburbia, the hankering for "home", the never-ending need to keep plugging in to the 9-to-5 to pay off the mortgage and the cars, the stress at work, the cold at wintertime, the heat at summertime....
See? I told you I wasn't that happy a person ;)
Friday, October 19, 2007
Pushy employees
I share a love-hate relationship with my nanny/cook/housekeeper person. She's very affectionate to the children, very clean (treasured qualities in India!) and has been with us for 2 years now. But she frequently irritates the heck out of me because of her bossiness. Because of her all-in-one position she assumes she can get away with rebuking the maid, the gardener and others; and with giving me copious amounts of advice - on how to cook, keep house, drive the car, you name it - she has advice for it.
At first I thought she did this with just me. But when I saw her doling out advice to my dragon of an elderly neighbour and sundry others, I knew she's the type - you know, the expert-in-everything person who has managed to pack in 500 person-years of of life in 50 odd years? Nowadays, I just turn a deaf year to her strident tones ("Madam, please watch out for the auto before you take a U", "Madam, the seetaphal you got is no good. Let me get good ones tomorrow", and on and on and on...).
But today when she overrode my instructions to the maidservant and gave her own "expert" instructions, I just snapped. I yelled at her good, and she's sulking.
It is good to put people in their designated places once in a while - not too often, just often enough so that they know who's boss!
At first I thought she did this with just me. But when I saw her doling out advice to my dragon of an elderly neighbour and sundry others, I knew she's the type - you know, the expert-in-everything person who has managed to pack in 500 person-years of of life in 50 odd years? Nowadays, I just turn a deaf year to her strident tones ("Madam, please watch out for the auto before you take a U", "Madam, the seetaphal you got is no good. Let me get good ones tomorrow", and on and on and on...).
But today when she overrode my instructions to the maidservant and gave her own "expert" instructions, I just snapped. I yelled at her good, and she's sulking.
It is good to put people in their designated places once in a while - not too often, just often enough so that they know who's boss!
Borrowing a flower for pooja
So this lady bangs on the gate's latch. "Madam", she says, "I see there is a mandara flower in your garden. Can I take it?" Apparently she worships her god with a mandara (hibiscus) flower every day and didn't find one today.
Being the pushable type that I am, I agreed, but many questions arose after she plucked it and thanked me profusely. Why would any god want a particular type of flower? Why on the statue or framed portrait particularly? Wouldn't god be happy to see the beautiful flower right there on the plant? How about the plant with yellow flowers in my garden that my pushy neighbour insists I remove? She says that the flowers are not to be used for pooja.
Of course, I used the very flowers during Gowri puja.
Being the pushable type that I am, I agreed, but many questions arose after she plucked it and thanked me profusely. Why would any god want a particular type of flower? Why on the statue or framed portrait particularly? Wouldn't god be happy to see the beautiful flower right there on the plant? How about the plant with yellow flowers in my garden that my pushy neighbour insists I remove? She says that the flowers are not to be used for pooja.
Of course, I used the very flowers during Gowri puja.
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