When a kid goes to a friend's birthday party, they get a "goody bag" or a "return gift", as it's known here. This week, we have 4 birthday parties to attend. We've probably attended around 10 others so far this academic year (since June). The number is only set to increase, since the twins have started school now as well.
Due to this huge number of parties and the resultant return gifts, our house is flooded with writing boxes (what we used to call pencil boxes in the good ol' days), pencils, erasers, pouches, sharpeners, crayons, geegaws that light up when you throw them/stick them to the wall/press them, lunch bags, fake cameras, ping-pong sets, yo-yos....you get the idea - all the plastic thingies found in General Bazar for Rs 50 or below have made their way home, and we have everything times three.
As a result, my kids have absolutely no value for pencils, crayons, sketch pen sets and the like - things I used to treasure when I was a kid. They just use them for a day or two and throw them around. Every once in a while, they remember the "thing", whatever it is, and fight for it (they get 3 identical of everything, so ownership is difficult to prove).
And every kid in Ani's circle has a cupboard overflowing with jigsaw puzzles, activity books, sketch pen and paint sets, remote-controlled cars, "thinking" VCDs - i.e., learning to spell/do speed math/speak well/identify all the different dinosaurs etc. etc. So what do you gift such a child? I inevitably give them a story book, and hope they read it and don't throw it somewhere (or don't already own 3 copies of it).
God knows how many millions of houses this is being repeated across the country and the world...
Can some brave soul propose a "gift-free" birthday party and get away with it? We're far, far away from such a concept here in India, at least in Hyderabad - where people want to show their wealth/generosity/love for their kid/ability to overload party menu with 3 sweets, 3 fried savories and 2 drinks, besides the cake, candy, wafers and return gifts.
We went to a party of a little girl a few weeks ago (5th birthday) attended by over 200 people, which was completely outsourced to an event management company - food (a buffet of Italian, South Indian, North Indian and Chaat offerings), drinks, appetizers, conducting the games, return gifts - everything was taken care off. The proud mom was just wandering around here and there saying "hi" and "bye". This was the second time I'd met her, the first was when she came to school to invite everyone - the little girl comes to school with her ayah and driver everyday. They probably spent a lakh or two on that party. Each of my brood of 3 got about 4 return gifts in that party - photo albums, pencil boxes, a huge fake sunflower and the like.
The little girl came to today's party with her ayah and driver as well. Guess mom has outsourced attending parties, as well as hosting them.
7 comments:
You write very well.
Hello Paddy! it's my son's 1st b'day next week. I have worried myself sick thinking about the perfect return gift which will bring a twinkle to every child's eye. I understand from ur blog that the commons things in India are pencil boxes, books, crayons, paint boxes. Since it's his 1st b'day, most of the invitees are adults (relative and co-workers). I
am expecting only 8-10 kids in the range of 3-7 years. Should i be giving away only one kind of gift for e'one...to avoid any kiddy fights? Or would that be too generic?
Definitely avoid customized gifts - the kids will be sure to compare each others' gifts immediately after you distribute them. Different gifts (especially those that are different in size) will inevitably lead to tears and tantrums. I stick to books nowadays - safe option, and in my opinion, one can never have too many of them. Since you've got less than 10 young guests, you can splurge on some really good books. Just my 2 paise worth :)
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Hello Paddy, I have been thinking of adding a no-gifts clause in the invitation. I have been advised\discouraged against doing so.The argument is that the guests would not accept return gifts for their kids if the hosts themselves do not accept gifts.What is your opinion on this?
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